The Best Way To Have No Enemies

The preacher had prepared a lengthy and powerful sermon for Sunday services on the topic of forgiving your enemies. After a lengthy presentation, he asked how many were willing to forgive their enemies. About half the people held up their hands.

Not satisfied, the preacher harangued and lectured on for another twenty minutes and then repeated his question. This time he received a response of about 80 percent agreeing that they should forgive their enemies..

Still unsatisfied with the congregation's response, he lectured for another 20 minutes and repeated his question once more.

By this time everyone was tired and thinking of Sunday dinner, and all those in attendance enthusiastically responded with their ability to forgive, except one elderly lady in the rear.

"Mrs. Jones, are you not willing to forgive your enemies?" the preacher inquired.

"I don't have any," Mrs, Jones answered.

"Mrs. Jones, that is very unusual," he went on. "If I may ask, how old are you?"

"Ninety three."

"Mrs. Jones, would you please come down in front and tell the congregation how a person can live to be ninety three years old and not have an enemy in the world," the preacher demanded.

The little sweetheart of a lady tottered down the aisle, very slowly, turned to face the congregation and said, "It's easy, really. I just outlived all the bitches."