The Old Lady On The Bus

A man recently had cosmetic surgery, and on the way home from work stopped at a newsstand. A young attractive woman was behind the counter and he asked her, "I hope you don't mind my asking, but how old do you think I am?"

The woman replied, "About 37."

"I'm actually 47," he answered, and left the store feeling mighty happy.

He remembered he needed something at the butcher shop, and while there again asked the clerk, another younger woman, the same question. This time the woman said, "Maybe about 30 years old."

Of course the 47 year old man was walking on air as he caught his bus home. He sat in the rear of the bus and an elderly lady took the seat next to him. He couldn't help but ask her the same question about his age, but this time he got a surprising reply.

Well," the old lady said, "I am 78 years old, half blind, and have not been with a man in 30 years, but in my day I could play with a man for a few minutes and always guess his age. Would you like me to try."

He was taken aback but intrigued, and agreed to this bizarre request. The old lady, crouched in the back of the bus, unzipped him a bit, reached in, and aggressively began playing with the man's privates. She became increasingly aroused and when finally she seemed to climax, she said, "You are 47."

"That is amazing, and correct. How did you do that?" the man asked.

The old lady answered, "Actually, I was behind you in the butcher shop."