The World Record Midgets

Three midgets decided they wanted to be in the Guinness Book of World Records.

The first midget called the publisher and told them he had very tiny arms. They called him in for a measurement and when he returned he had a trophy for the world's smallest arms.

The second midget called Guinness and asked them to measure his incredibly tiny legs. Sure enough he returned from the meeting with a trophy proving how tiny his little legs were.

The third midget told them he had a meeting scheduled to measure his almost non-existent penis. A few hours later he returned from his meeting and angrily asked, "Who the hell is Tom Cruise?"